The past couple of weeks have really been dragging along. I’ve been drained by the time I get home from work, haven’t been going to bed early enough, and have been running super-late getting Daniel to daycare. I went to bed relatively early last night, but couldn’t fall asleep. Finally fell asleep around 12 or 12:30, but I guess I was well rested because I got up by 6:30 (Daniel didn’t get up until closer to 7:30). I got him to daycare around 8:40. I made it to work, where I soon discovered that my laptop’s hard drive was having problems. I think I managed to hose it yesterday afternoon while playing with VMWare. So I got to spend the day trying to fix that, trying to keep up with my actual work, cleaning up spyware (crap, I forgot to have the lady come pick up her computer after I finished), and dealing with my own state of mind. I really wish Daniel was going to be out of town this weekend, as I think I need some time to just sit down, relax, and continue to do some introspection. I’ve realized that there are a lot of issues that I’m trying to deal with as they arise (or as I realize them), but they’re not exactly easy things to deal with. An example would be the rejection I had to deal with from Melissa for several years making me easily frustrated and constantly doubting myself. It’s not really fair to anyone for me to generalize, so I’m trying to deal with it and remind myself that not all people are that way. *sigh* Dealing with all of this personal conflict, in addition to the stress of work, the stress of being a single parent, the stress of being, and the stress of the other drama that I’ve been dealing with is taking a toll and I think I need to sleep for about 2 days straight. 🙁
I didn’t go back through this, it’s just one long stream of consciousness. I’m going to go ahead and hit the Post button before I worry about who might read it or what they might have to say. *shrug* *sigh*
