Between taking care of Daniel, work, comparing myself to others, trying to do things for myself, and now this stupid cold, I’m totally worn out. I can’t concentrate at work, I don’t have the energy to do as much with Daniel as I’d like, I can’t go to the gym, I don’t have the energy to do everything I need to do around the house, and I’m really frustrated. I also get upset when I hear about other people taking vacations or trips that I can’t afford to take…and even if I could, I’d be alone…and I desperately want to stop even caring about that. *sigh*According to the divorce agreement, I’m supposed to have two weeks during the summer to have a sort of break…or rather, she’s supposed to have two weeks in the summer to spend with Daniel…but that didn’t happen this year. I really don’t see how true single parents can do this, but maybe I’m just not completely in the mindset yet. I don’t know.
And as I was walking downstairs to fix a paper jam and then back to the office, I realized that what I really need is to go sit and just cry. But I don’t have the time or the energy. Maybe I can pencil this in for a week from tomorrow. *sigh* For now, I’ll listen to nin – Halo 14 – The Fragile, and try to let it all flow out through the music.
Also, I thought about making this entry private, but I didn’t…
Well its good to let the world know just in case that how you feel. There is no reason to hide who you are. We love you for who you are. Life can be difficult and i’m sorry yours is right now. Life isn’t always perfect and there are problems thats what makes it intresting. Hope it becomes easier my friend.