Yet another punch…

I’ve always loved Melissa’s family and still do, in spite of everything that’s happened in the last year.  However, I don’t know if there’s really a way for me to stay involved with them without dealing with her…

I found out this afternoon that her uncle’s mother died and the wake is tonight.  I know he was really close to his mother and I want to offer my condolences in a sincere and meaningful way.  I’ve been discouraged from going to the wake, not that I could make it there easily, but I don’t think a phone call out of the blue or a card is appropriate. I’m really torn up by this…when someone loses a loved one, I really feel for them.  My heart aches at their loss.  But I can’t express it.  Words don’t show the tears that have been welling up in my eyes this afternoon or the lump that’s been in my throat.  They don’t show how much I really, deeply care.  I’m going to have to write something, but it just feels like an empty action that you do for distant people you didn’t really know, not someone you love like family and have for the past 5 years.

This sucks.

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