Keeping in touch

I’ve always maintained that I’m bad at keeping in touch with people because I don’t want to risk bothering them.  I’m not so sure that’s true.  It’s much more likely that the anxiety I feel about initiating contact is due to feelings that they might actually be there and that I might actually have to talk about myself.  I don’t mind listening to other people, but I have a really hard time talking about myself and what’s really going on in my life.  I’m scared of actually having real conversations with other people and on the rare occasion that I actually do so, it wears me out.  I’m tired of being lonely, but I’ve more or less put myself into this position and I’m admitting that…not to all of you (3) readers, but to myself.  I’d argue that my relationship with God is the same way…I feel really anxious about “calling” and keep hoping that He doesn’t “pick up” because I don’t want to really talk about what’s going in my life and that makes me sad.

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